I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
