my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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