I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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