i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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