is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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