I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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