I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize