Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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