you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize