3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
