we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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