the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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