just tell him i said nine months
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
