do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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