ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
