when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
there's paper in my vomit.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
