were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
