Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
