Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize