he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
