Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
