hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
