as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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