What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I believe in your delicious
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
