I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
