Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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