woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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