you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
