The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
