we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm at about main and main street
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
