do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize