We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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