I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
