I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
