nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
