I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
