her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
