You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
