So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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