He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he fucked my hip out of place.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
