I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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