well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
