He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize