Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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