On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize