yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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