I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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