Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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