I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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