i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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