That's intense
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
