after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
