the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I deserve this hangover.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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