dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
