Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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