he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
