Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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