i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
