just come out here and I will go home with you...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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