I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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