So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
