You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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