I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
