i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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