i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
