my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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