In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize