anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
