I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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