That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
