Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
